Diet Culture and Rape Culture

September 25, 2018 by Marcie

If there’s a time to stop “fitting in,” it’s now.

If there’s a time to “be difficult,” it’s now.

It’s been a rough week for women and anyone who’s been sexually assaulted in the U.S.

It’s been a rough few months for folks in the U.S. fighting to protect women’s reproductive rights.

Before you click away because you don’t know how this is relevant, hang with me. Rape culture effects women’s health and what I tie together is incentive for creating strong boundaries for your body.

Last week I had a conversation with a client about her mother’s unending fat phobia. Her mother has been policing my client’s weight for 40 years with insults, offensive questioning and micro-aggressions.

Her mother has even started commenting on her children’s weight with “sophisticated” new language: she’s deeply concerned about the family’s “health.” Health is code for weight.

I asked my client, have you set a firm boundary with this family member? Have you said, “You’re no longer allowed to talk about my health or my weight or my children’s”?

My client’s response was quick. She said she didn’t want to make it “a thing.” If I set a boundary, I’ll raise more attention. My mother will say I’m being “difficult.” I would be called “dramatic” and I don’t want to make myself vulnerable.

Does this sound familiar?

The victim becomes the villain. The victim is the “burden.”

The victim is dismissed, disparaged and blamed. (This was Daryl Hannah’s account of #WhyIDidntReport). It’s a tactic, to name call and undermine.

We live in a culture that undervalues women, especially women of color and trans. We have fewer rights, less representation and less protection. We are vulnerable.

So, it’s no wonder we don’t speak up. The “fight” requires resources we may not have. But the stakes are higher than ever. Women’s bodies are on the line. And women are saying #enough.

This is what I said to my client:

Your mom is right. You are difficult. You don’t fit in. Diet Culture can’t function (control women) if you’re not actively trying to make yourself smaller. When you’re not being a “good girl,” the system unravels.

Thank goddess for that! Not conforming to a broken system -is what’s RIGHT with you.

Let’s be difficult. Let’s reclaim difficult. Let’s not fit in. We cannot play by the rules of a culture that devalues women, and expect to flourish. Andflourishing is feminist. Flourishing is resistance.

What boundaries have you made to people trying to control your body? What line have you said, you may not cross? (You can also ask you).

PS I have a course coming up. It’s called “Nourish to Flourish.” It’s 9 months. It trains women in skills, not obedience. We start Oct. 29th (note date change). If you’re interested and would like to know more, email me at health @ marciegoldman (dot) com.

PSS If you prefer working one-on-one, I understand. You can talk to me here.

“Our [liberation] requires our attention, voice and participation.” -Michelle Obama

Flourish,
Marcie

my Disney food diary

June 21, 2018 by Marcie

On the airplane back from Orlando, I started writing. You know how insights crystalize up in the air?

Well, I wrote quick because I had a shockingly nourishing & flourishing experience at Disney World and I want to share the pixie dust.

I’ll start by saying, I was hesitant about going. Disney World appears to embody everything that worries me about our culture. The excess, the consumerism, the plastic, the abandonment of the knowledge that there’s anything wrong.

I understand this is part of what makes Disney beloved. The magical Disney experience, I felt it!

It turns out… I loved it. My epiphany is that “the magical experience” is the RE-SET everyone’s dieting for. You don’t need a Summer Body yo, get yourself to a theme park.

And if you can’t, I’m encapsulating the essence of Disney magic so you can feel it ANYwhere. That’s Part II of My Disney Food Diary, right now I want to get to the food.

Now, if you’re doubting a theme park can make you healthy, I did too. I didn’t think I’d make it a day, let alone FLOURISH in a park this HUGE, this HOT, this stimulating – with food I don’t normally eat.

My anxiety, when traveling, has a lot to do with access to food.

“Getaways” usually include a tent, a camping stove, and a cooler. We’re a BYOF family (bring your own food) to save money and eat quality ingredients. So, Disney World was outside my comfort zone. That in mind, I entered the largest theme park in the world, giving up all food control, for three 12 hour days. I didn’t even bring snacks, I didn’t want to carry them! And THAT, for a Feminist Health Coach who dislikes relying on corporations to feed me, is unheard of.

And yet, despite everything you know about theme park food and Disney quantities of sugar, I left feeling better than I’ve felt in a LONG time. And it’s NOT because I “stayed on track” or kept to a diet.

I ate everything that caught my fancy. I ate ice cream cones, Dole cups, Citrus Swirl Floats and hot dogs with Mac n’ cheese. I “ate” Disney and flourished. Not by abstaining, but by nourishing the experience AND sticking to three important food guidelines.

Out of curiosity, I researched the hashtag #HealthyDisney/Family when I got back, to see what other health-minded strategies people used at Disney and I was horrified. Not at what people were eating, but at the level of control and restriction and moralizing people are inflicting on themselves. I can tell you, you don’t have to “stay on track” to eat well — and staying on track won’t get you the Disney Experience, HELLO! That’s the WHOLE point.

I invite you to drop Food Righteousness like you’re dropping down Splash Mountain. You want guideposts that worked for your ancestors and will work at Disney and anywhere you make food decisions.

You want to nourish your body, respect your hunger and LIVE. These show you how:

Eat 3 meals a day plus a bedtime snack

When you don’t have control over food quality, don’t focus so much on what you eat, focus on WHEN you eat. Make sure you eat MEALS: breakfast, lunch, dinner and a bedtime snack is a self-care practice. Rhythm organizes your body and cravings.

Eating in rhythm keeps hormones happy, bowels working, and the reptilian brain CALM. You can RELAX knowing another meal will follow (especially if you get a meal that flops). There’s always next time!

When you’re committed to “meals” rather than snacking, your body knows it’ll be fed the major nutrients it needs. Traditional “meals” include protein, fats and carbohydrates – that’s what I mean by meals.

Meals are comforting, satisfying, and give us energy. Meals also manage blood sugar – a critical self-sustaining practice.
Include vegetables

There’s a certain nutrition requirement we need to feel good and function well. Part of that functioning is making sure our bowel movements are moving effectively. Veggies are good for that. I also knew that at a place like Disney World, if I found veggies I’d find other important nutrients: protein + fat. I aimed for two meals a day with veggies.

Seeking veggies is a strategy for avoiding “all purpose flour” (aka white flour) – a food that can disrupt healthy bowel function. Notice my reframe? Instead of creating a list of foods to avoid, like “all purpose flour,” I choose the EAT MORE strategy. Diversity and inclusivity is the goal, even when it comes to food.

Secondly, I don’t like to support factory farm raised animal products, so I tend to eat vegetarian and fish when I don’t know my sources. AND I keep it flexible because — my protein needs overshadow my food values.

That’s what happened when I ended up eating half of this hot dog for dinner (I’m so glad someone was willing to share). Blood sugar stability was a must if I wanted to find my way out of that park or stay for that matter.

Guilt is the antithesis of the Disney experience.

So I ate that hot dog gratefully. I wasn’t the one who had to stand in line for 40 minutes! And my well being matters above all, as harsh as that sounds: “mask on me, first.” I used to hem & haw over decisions like this and the amount of stress I built up was far worse an effect than eating the hot dog.

Food is negotiable. I “don’t eat” hot dogs, unless I eat a hotdog.
Make food decisions quickly.

This one’s genius because it takes us back to our ancestral wisdom. Our hunter/gatherer foremothers & fathers were FREE from “food decision fatigue.” Their goal was — food. So, making quick food decisions brings us to that instinctual space. Without faltering, we know when, how much and what to eat. This isn’t easy for me. I have to navigate thru my nutritionally oriented MIND but I always come back to my first instinct after going down the nutritional pros & cons rabbit hole.

How quick should you decide?

As instantaneous as the rides start after buckling in. There’s no time to second guess your decision. Even deciding what restaurant to eat at can become intuitive. This is one of my super powers, and it’s something you can practice and get good at.

THIS is how I could eat all the sugar & fat and still lose weight –

a side effect from the whole experience. And a result of effortless & joy-filled eating. Most importantly, I felt great. I slept well, had enough stamina to keep up with the teenagers and I didn’t feel like I needed to go on a diet as soon as I got home.

My trip filled me with nourishment from family & friends, adrenaline pumping rides (normally I’m too afraid to go on), SUNSHINE and moving my body 10 miles a day.

I wouldn’t call the walking “exercise,” it was movement and moving helps everything function better, especially the instinctual mind. If you want to know more about movement vs exercise, see Katy Bowman’s work.

You can go “off track” and still be healthy. Heck, you can go off track and FIND health.

I hope you take this wisdom on your next getaway and rethink any “Summer Body” goals.

Look out for Part II, I teach you how to get the most of your Summer pleasures. All the reasons you want to diet anyway, so skip the middleman.

PS Know any Disney super-fans?

Please share this post! If nothing else, they’ll love the photos.

PSS Here’s what else I ate at Disney:

3 egg veggie omelettes every morning (these were a staple)
overnight oats (a “trendy” but welcome find at our hotel cafe)
mediterranean plate (hummus, veggies, olives and pita)
fish and salad or rice with sides like green beans
nachos with cheese & black beans

Photo credit for Citrus Float, Cookie, Hot Dog and Hands with Drinks, goes to Instagrammers: @irelandfrost, @thisistampabay, @disneyfatties. And @girafferty.

Nourish to Flourish,

Marcie

Beyond The Body As Project

May 2, 2018 by Marcie

Maybe you’ll recognize this:

I came with the intention that I was going to “fix me.” I was going to take these herbs, and it’s going to make me better. I’m going to do all this yoga, so I can be better. I’m going to eat these foods and do all these things, and be better. ~Client

Diet culture teaches us to find the “magic formula” for a healthy, glowing, lean body. We tinker, tweak, restrict and follow what makes the most sense at the time.

Naturally, we look to food and diet for answers. There’s something inherently right about that. But at some point, nutrition and nutrients turn into a puzzle we’re supposed to figure out and when we do… We’ll unlock the key to LIFE.

At some point, you stop the madness.

Maybe because you’re working with me 😊

And now… you feel unmoored.

You don’t feel a sense of purpose around food anymore. Before, you looked at food and diet strategically. It was a project. You invested in the tools and in your body as a means to an end. Food lost its value in and of itself and became valued for its outcomes. It’s as if food was a pawn used to engineer results. This is all that mattered.

Ask me how I know. Ahem. Been there, have ALL THE T-SHIRTS.

If you’re not trying to lose weight…

If you’re not trying to create a particular health outcome…

If you’re not restricting…

If you love your body!

Why bother eating healthy?

Why think about food or health at all?

Why not just ‘fuck it’ and eat/do whatever you want?

You’re not alone. When you stop dieting & start accepting yourself, I hear this a lot, you lose your why. After years (or a lifetime) of trying to make yourself better, this is uncomfortable new territory. You’ve stepped into a VOID with no compass or direction.

BEFORE, food was strategic.

BEFORE, food was valued as a means to an end.

But food isn’t strategic. Good food isn’t created to manufacture your eventual happiness. Food isn’t pawn or puppet. Food is the stuff of life. It’s one of the most important parts of survival. If you value and cherish yourself, you value and cherish the building blocks of life.

You deserve to lavishly care and nourish yourself NOT because you’re trying to create a particular outcome but BECAUSE YOU’RE ALIVE and you respect life.

Your body is not a project.

Paradoxically (the twisted reality): The more we “work on” the body as a project, the more ill we become.

Your body doesn’t deserve care ONLY when you’re working on an outcome. Your body desires true healthcare, wholeness & healing.

You are here. You’re precious. You deserve food — beautiful, nourishing food — because you are alive and love life. (And it’s a work in progress).

Food isn’t about what life could be. It is LIFE. Alive. Precious. A gift. So, all the time and investment that went into engineering outcomes, you can pour into your new life-giving practices.

Food is life. Not a means to an end.

You’re alive. You’re here. I’m so glad you are. Let’s nourish this home so you can flourish.

If you want to know more about how to give up the body as project, view my calendar for online bookings.

Flourishing is feminist,
Marcie

Unsung Mother-Doctors

December 11, 2017 by Marcie

I’m obsessed with baskets. If you follow me on Instagram, you know. Here’s why, baskets are a symbol of women’s wisdom.

Women are healers.

We’ve always been the unsung mother-doctors. Grandmother healers. Wise aunties who knew things. Women’s healing powers are not epic. It’s ordinary magic.

Ordinary is invisible. You don’t get the credit. And that’s okay, except!!

The perception that “women’s work is a lesser contribution” is what fuels unequal pay in the work force. And it fuels the same perception at home. Therefore, it’s valued less. THIS messes with families! And erodes all you know that’s right about food and nourishment and how important it is.

Check this out, the healing basket.

The basket is a metaphor for your magic: your- cooking, intuition, empathy, “healing touch,” herbal remedies and wisdom. These things are invisible, but you’re not!

I see you. Children see you. The work you do that keeps you and your family alive & well is freaking AMAZING. When your work is honored & celebrated, it doesn’t feel like labor. It’s work but it feels like life’s work – satisfying and powerful.

This is why I get pissed off when traditional foods are disguised as vegan health foods. A lineage gets squandered for a consumer product. When someone dogmatically advances an agenda without context, it’s war on women all over again.

I see it when Bone Broth is replaced with veggie broth and vetted as “equally nutritious.” I see it when milk is replaced with nuts or soybeans and still called “milk.” I see it when clients have limited their diets so much, they’ve come to fear food.

A lineage is at risk. Women’s wisdom is at risk. MSG killed bone broth. A short cut with long term side effects.

I digress. But not really.

I trust my grandmother. I trust my ancestors. I want to have the skills of doing for myself instead of relying on manufactured alternatives that may not be good for me.

I want you to have more skill and power and choice – and if you don’t know how to make bone broth, and buy bouillon or boxed stock. You don’t have a choice.

Which is not to make a hard and fast rule, Thou Shalt Not Buy Bouillon. I despise rules because they become religion and orthodoxy which is exactly the opposite of the kind of fluid judgement and power I want us to possess.

So on that note, here’s your take back your power action plan:

1. Be discerning about who’s feeding you – both literally as in who made the food and products you consume – AND who is feeding your mind.
2. Connect to women healers, cooks, chefs and people who appreciate the power of food. Stay in the conversation. Let them inspire you. Fill your basket with ingredients. Little by little, everyday, collect ideas, tools and resources. (So you have what you need when you need it).
3. Don’t get stuck in resentment, stick fiercely to what you know. Resentment hurts you the most and it doesn’t help THEM “get it.” Go inside. Connect with what you know is healthy. Then, SHARE it. And celebrate your wisdom.
4. Listen to your ancestors. If you want more ease and health in your life, do what worked for your ancestors. Ancestors are the people in your family who’ve died. They did not die in vain! Take their wisdom, put it to practice, feel more whole.

The struggle with being the workhorse of the house, the feeder, the one with food skills, the conscious nurturer, nourisher and caretaker… Is VITAL, worthy and necessary.

Feeling under-appreciated is a thing. You’re not alone, this is bigger than you. This is patriarchy. Knowing this gives you the power to not internalize it.

Run from rules.
Run to wisdom.

We have a whole tradition of it. A lineage. We know things.

Let’s learn even more so we have true healthcare. And let’s use it!

To filling your healing basket,

Marcie

PS This is the exact work we do in my private coaching. If it calls to you, find out more here. To talk – contact me by email: health at marcie goldman dot com – and let’s connect!

Buh Bye Food Restrictions

May 19, 2017 by Marcie

Psst! There’s a big reveal you’ll want to share with every gluten- and dairy- free person you know.

I’ve been waiting for the right time to tell you this. Feathers will be ruffled! But this information is too important not to share. And when I’m wrong, I have to admit I’m wrong.

With years of food elimination programs under my belt, one-on-one nutrition counseling, personal & clinical experience as well as scientific and anecdotal research – I’ve come to a conclusion.

As soon as I got off the phone with Rose, I wanted to celebrate with ice cream. A year ago, I had guided Rose through a food elimination diet (she had extensive food sensitivities). Her digestion improved considerably but she still didn’t feel “free & clear” to reintroduce her food sensitivities. Later that year, she reached out again, this time yearning to expand her diet. After some deep intuitive work, additional herbal support and the green light from me, she reported:

The SHACKLES are off! I can eat what I want pain-free
My partner of 24 years said, “I feel like I live with a different person.”
People around me are amazed. How are you doing it?! They all want to know
I want to share this process with everyone! It’s exciting and FUN
I feel energized and FREE

If you know me, you know I take my job as a nutrition counselor seriously. I’m fiercely protective of your wellbeing & sanity and I’m realistic about what you can expect. Anything I say I aim to A) not confuse you further and B) empower you with CHOICES instead of adding more rules.

That said, the time has come to boldly draw my sword in the sand and tell you which side of the “line” I stand on.

[Read more…]

Yes, of course it hurts

May 10, 2017 by Marcie

You’ve heard about coffee enemas right? An expensive cold brew you don’t get to drink. It goes in a different hole 😬.

Drinking coffee activates your bowels and improves peristalsis. Why would you…?!?! Never mind, I’ll never understand how this became a trend.

Spring’s got me thinking about what we do in the name of “health.” I notice self-judging thoughts, irritability & anxiety, and an overriding sense of frustration. These are common feelings this time of year, believe it or not. Especially in Maine, we’re behind Alaska as the last to Spring and I can feel the agitation.

The truth is, Spring is uncomfortable. Even if you slept like a champion all Winter. Even if you live in a sunny state. Spring is like puberty, it’s awkward. It’s the opposite of smooth, it’s muddy, messy and there’s a lot of change happening at once.

The idea of reaching for a coffee enema to get your bud to sprout FASTER isn’t what mother nature intended.

Waking up after a long hibernating season, you’re not supposed to feel springy & sparkly. You’re supposed to feel like you just woke up. The key here is to understand you’re in a season and not get swept away trying to “fix” it. [Read more…]

I Still Hide Food

February 24, 2016 by Marcie

You’d think gawking at people’s food would be taboo but it’s still going strong. I’ve been sensitive to it since I was a girl when my dad would say things like – are you sure you want to eat that?

He was referring to anything on my plate that wasn’t “dietetic.” That was the word back then for food that won’t make you fat. It was an era of even more misinformation & confusion than we have today.

My dad believed, much to my chagrin, to be thin & beautiful was the most important virtue in life. Add this to his ongoing battle with weight and a medical system that shunned fat – and you get a fat phobic, food controlling, household.

In a nut shell, these were the “Food Rules” in my house:

Fat is the enemy
Red meat will kill ya
You only deserve to eat if you’ve exercised hard (dripping sweat is a good sign)
Fish is the only food to eat guilt free (that and crackers & jelly??)
Sorbet is a pass, ice cream is NOT
And, fat is BAD (mentioned twice for emphasis)

Today at my local health food store’s Oatmeal Bar, I wasn’t ashamed of eating oatmeal (Paleo/Keto peeps don’t scare me). I wasn’t afraid to fill my cup to the brim (I don’t have Weight Watcher’esque portion shame). What I didn’t want people to see was how much fat I eat.

Fear of FAT is steeped in our psyche.

Although I’ve healed my personal fat phobia – FAT saved me from incessant food cravings, anxiety & depression, roller coaster mood swings, debilitating PMS and a boring diet – my fear was what other people will think. Being a “nutritionist,” I don’t want to scare people away!

Are you judging the fat on YOUR plate?

Thankfully, media (which is about 10-20 years behind on nutrition science) is more fat-friendly. They acknowledge butter is better than margarine. But, won’t “too much” kill ya? And, will the fat you eat make you fat?

NO! I have to shout because it’s important.

Fat is your friend. Fat from pasture-raised animals not given antibiotics, growth hormones or toxic waste is a “superfood” (it has a high concentration of nutritional value). But non-organic fat is also important, it’s a macro-nutrient which means you MUST consume it (you’re body doesn’t produce it) in order to supply your body proper nutrition required for LIFE.

Weight gain is caused by undernourished hormones, stress, insomnia, DIETING, low access to food and poverty. The fat on your body is NOT caused by the fat you eat.

Fat is a digestive aid! It helps break down carbohydrates. Why do you think the French love their fatty sauces? Because in most cultures, meals are designed for digestibility. Fat, like fermented food, is intentionally included because they’re both high in enzymes which break down carbohydrates so your body can assimilate nutrition with ease.

Like bread was designed for butter, chicken breasts were designed to eat with chicken skin (the tasty stuff)!

If you’ve taken animal protein out of your diet, you’re likely deficient in fat.

Grains need to have fat added, like my oatmeal at Alfalfa’s Oatmeal Bar. I tucked 2 pads of Organic Valley Butter into the center to get it melted. I added one more for good measure. And I would’ve added a fourth packet (another 1/2 Tablespoon) but not in public!

The measure of the “right” amount of fat is – how I feel. I wasn’t hungry or snack’y until 4 hours later. Feeling satisfied is a sign of a balanced meal and sufficient fat. When I don’t add the butter, I get hungry too quick.

There’s no reason to be ashamed of eating large portions of fat. In fact, use people’s reactions as a measure. If jaws drop (and they do around me), you’ve added the right amount. And when it happens, give them my name. Hey, thanks ;).

To optimize fat digestion, drink bone broth regularly. Bone broth increases your bile production and bile is a critical nutrient in the break down of fat.

Click to be notified of my next #30DayBoneBrothChallenge. It’s a fun (and free) way to start drinking & cooking with broth regularly.

Until then, increase the amount of fat in your diet at a slow & steady pace. That’s wise with any dietary change. Choose organic (when possible) butter, extra virgin olive oil and animal fats.

If you liked this article, please share it and subscribe for more food liberating wisdom.

Make Ahead Breakfast

March 16, 2015 by Marcie

Egg Cups

Ingredients

4 to 6 large Russet or Yukon potatoes
2-3 strips of organic bacon, cut into small pieces
Salt & ground pepper
1-3 Tablespoons Extra Virgin Olive Oil (EVOO)
16 pasture raised eggs
Silicone muffin cups*

Instructions

Preheat oven to 400F.
Bake the potatoes until tender, about 30 – 45 minutes. Allow to cool, peel the skins off, then grate. Season well with salt & pepper and add desired amount of EVOO (if you’re not adding bacon, opt for more EVOO).
Scoop 2 to 3 tablespoons of grated potato into each muffin cup. Use your fingers to gently press down on the sides and bottom to make a nest – you’re making room for the egg.
Sprinkle a few pieces of bacon in each cup. Bake for 30-45 minutes to help crisp the potatoes and cook the bacon.
Allow the nests to cool before cracking an egg into each cup (it’s okay if some of the egg white spills over into the pan. It cleans up easily at the end). Sprinkle with salt & pepper and bake until the whites are set and the yolks are cooked to desired temperature (soft, medium or hard), about 15-30 minutes.

Notes

*Fir Tree brand Silicone Baking Cups are BPA-free and the colors are great. Shop: Amazon.

Adapted from Pioneer Woman

Want To Be Part of The Resistance?

January 16, 2015 by Marcie

Don’t Go On A Diet In January

In the wake of New Year’s Day, cleanse programs are trending, stores are stocked with Detox Kits and the desire for a fresh start is hot. I want you to stay STRONG.

Don’t let your New Year’s ambitions give in to the “quick fix.” Resist the pills & packets that promise health and do what you know is good for you, eat well.

My New Year’s Challenge is to avoid the idea that you can jumpstart your health by cleaning your colon, eliminating toxins or limiting calories. INSTEAD, feed your body life-giving nutrients.

Eat More!

Here’s what makes the eat more, not less strategy so successful:

1. You dodge the deprivation/binge cycle.

2. You get excited about food instead of careful.

3. Eating more nutrition is sustainable. Unlike cleanses, you don’t want to stop!

4. Eating nutrients creates a desire for more nutrients (cravings transform).

5. Chronic health problems go away.

6. Nagging hunger stops, weekend binges and nighttime snacking disappears.

Don’t waste your New Year get-up-and-go on a diet or detox. If you need a New Year’s Challenge, one that’ll leave you deeply nourished and equipped to feed yourself well all year long, join me.

Grow food skills, not obedience.

This is how you develop self-love, body acceptance and confidence. All the things you hope dieting will give you.

The hard part will be avoiding the barrage of dieting adverts promising to wield your undisciplined ways. That’s where my 98 page “Meal Plan” (with a weeks worth of breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks and desserts) will help. It’s free, it gets you on my newsletter where you’ll receive weekly pep-talks for undieting, and it’s full of resources for EATING nutrient rich, real food.

Avoid the “quick fix,” nourish yourself instead.

And if you don’t know where to begin, you can sign up for a Nutritional Power Hour. After 75 minutes, you’ll have a clear, distraction-free, road ahead.

Nourish to flourish,

Marcie

My favorite (naturally) gluten-free dessert

December 6, 2014 by Marcie